Running: Revised

I went running today on a surprisingly scenic lap around an industrial park near my house. It seems as if the city planners put all their landscaping mojo into that little two-mile square plot of land, building gently sloping little hills lined with grass and trees up against some bland concrete buildings. They even threw in some now-defunct railroad tracks half-buried under the remains of autumn's leaves. How considerate. It's all very picturesque if you can ignore the main thoroughfare that was thankfully quite deserted on this Sunday afternoon.

It's not often that I feel so happy while out running. Lately, I've been dragging myself all over the hills of Westwood, mostly down cracked concrete beside angry L.A. traffic. Running, for me, has become a way to maintain my individuality because in all honesty, I'm a crap runner. I like to think that I'm one of those incredibly fit maniacs who live off of salad and brown rice, but I've got a one-pack of adipose and I regularly eat salad because I'm literally allergic to everything else in the dining hall downstairs.

I guess my reasons for running have changed.

I'm running now because I want to prove I'm not like everyone else. I'm not running to get in shape or stay in shape. Neither's going to happen any time soon. I'm not running because I want to be a healthy person. With all the exhaust I breathe in on my runs, I'm pretty sure I'm killing something in my lungs. I'm not running to look good. God knows it'll take a lot more than running for that to happen.

I'm running to clear my head. I'm running to focus. There's a reason I never go out running with headphones. Running is a time to think, and music distracts me because I get so caught up in the beat.

Plus I can't hear anything around me when I run, so I'd probably get hit by a car. Or hit a car while running. Or something equally uncoordinated.

I'm running so I can feel good about myself. What better way to enjoy this self-imposed isolation than by flaunting it? Hey. Yeah. I'm running. I'm running alone. All. By. Myself. Got a problem? No one's ever got a problem.

Running's the only time I'm not thinking about how many problem sets I have left to do. When I run, I think about how I'm feeling, both physically and emotionally. It's only when I'm running that I realize that both of these are important.

This is running.